The End of the Story? Not!

This is not the end of the story. It's not the end of Ben's story, or ours. Or God's. Just as Jesus' death was not the end of His story. It's hard to imagine that it's not, though. It's actually easy to believe that life is pretty much over now, that there's nothing left to live for or look forward to. A year later, Ben's death still shakes us and affects everything, everyday. Our life is different now, our faith is different, our love, joy, minds, peace, awareness, sensitivity, plans, hopes, dreams...all different. We see people differently, we go through each day differently, our brains (when they work), work differently. Our hearts are different. We are more fragile, more tender. We see God differently, too. Before, we believed the lie that if we believed and did all the right things that He would just bless us and keep us from harm, giving us a happy little life. The truth is that if He did not prevent His own Son from suffering, how can we expect anything different? And not to get theological, but if people are free to make wrong choices, and if there's an enemy who's free to unleash evil, and once you realize that you're caught in that battle, how can we not expect pain?  

God redeems it, though. He has the last word. He causes all things to work together for good, for those who love Him and for those who are called according to His purposes. We rest in that. And we rest in the truth that Ben's rock at the grave is not the end of his story, merely the end of his story here. Yet his story here even continues in us. We have been changed by his death, and in that way, he lives on here in us as we reflect more of a different kind of life.  

More importantly, his story has only begun in Paradise. Yes, even with a sinful choice at the end, he gets Paradise. Jesus' payment for sin either pays for all sin, or leaves the payment unpaid! And if some part of it is unpaid, we are all doomed. But Jesus did pay it all, so that any of us who become a part of Him are rescued from sin and death. It's not fair. That's perhaps the hardest part. For Ben, whatever pain he was experiencing is gone forever, and he enters into the joy of his Master's rest. While we who are left behind, now suffer in pain here. We will suffer until that day when we get to Heaven and leave this part of our story behind, and begin the next chapter.  

We now live a split life. We live a life of sorrow and immense sadness over what's been lost, and at the same time, a life of joy and hope over God's redemption and what is yet to come. So when we seem to be unstable, well, we are! When you hear us talk of the hope and Paradise and our thankfulness that this is not the end of the story, don't think that we've "over it". We're not, and never will be. Moments later we can be cast into utter darkness, fighting off all the why's and the shame that comes at us from the arrows of the enemy. We often just get paralyzed, unable to move or think. But when you find us sad, don't think that we've lost hope, for we have not. Indeed, it's that hope that keeps us and makes us determined to live differently, intentionally, and transparently. We're in recovery, and will be the rest of our lives here. The prayers, hugs, and encouragement from so many of you have made a real impact on us. You  help us through each day as you become the tangible expression of God's love to us, His faithfulness, His promise to never leave us or forsake us. You are His embrace.  

This is not the end of the story.