We'd planned to spend Sunday morning there as well, but things just were conspiring against us to keep that from happening...and I was really trying to be ok with it, and just enjoy what we'd had on Saturday. But the truth wouldn't leave me alone. My heart was hurt, in a way that I can't even express though I know how to string words together! I kept waking up early that morning wondering, "Why does disappointment always have to win?" "Why can't the Saturday joy overcome the Sunday disappointment?" And there were no answers, but it was much deeper than about the beach. It was about our lives. It was about our short memories. As Rick Warren said recently, "Why can't I forget the things I don't want to remember, but always remember the things I want to forget?" And that's the story of our lives, it seems. We yearn for just more. There really is never enough. Of anything good.
And I just laid there, sad in my soul, not even crying out to God, just crying out inside...."Why does disappointment win?" Finally, I figured I'd get up and go take a walk on the beach alone, at least, and feel sorry for myself by not inviting anyone else to the party. I'd barely gotten dressed when my wife asked me, "Where are you going?" And I told her to take a walk on the beach. She said, "But I thought we were going to the beach?" I guess I hadn't explained to her that it just wasn't in the cards, we had to check out at an odd time, had a 2-3 hour drive back, and our daughter had a work day on Monday...so I just tried to explain all that quickly, and she could tell that I was really hurt. (I really love my beach!) She said, and I thank God for this: "Well, why can't you and I just go for an hour, and our daughter can get ready and pack up while we're gone, and then we can come back and pack up and clean up?" And I thought, "Huh, that might work..." It was really too good to believe. I had been transported from the depths of despair to the heights of joy and possibility in a moment. She rescued my heart.
So here's the scene: