From the very day that God begins doing a work in our hearts, calling us to Himself, a Great Battle begins. An enemy arises, working non-stop to prevent the very work that God is doing to rescue us from darkness and hopelessness and despair. That enemy gets up each morning with one goal: to destroy us any way he can, and he has 1/3 of an 'uncountable number' (according to the Bible) of angels, now demons, on his team. What's 1/3 of an infinite number? Right, an infinite number. We have a lot of opponents set against us. And you wonder why life is so hard?
When the enemy loses that initial battle for our soul, and we are God's forevermore, he does not pack up his bat and ball and go quietly home. No, he renews his work against us. Why? Once we're God's, what can he do? Well, Biblically, we know that he cannot have us back. There are those who disagree, but it's just too clear that we cannot lose our salvation. If our kids can never not be our kids, then God ensures that we can never not be His. Rest in that. No matter what, when you're in, no one can snatch you out of His hand. (John 10:28-29) So the enemy does what he can, to neutralize us, to make us ineffective, to rob us of the abundant and free life that God intends. He attacks our hearts by convincing us that God is holding out on us (see my June 29/30 entries on Your Father's Heart). But once we know that God is good, and something is still wrong, he works overtime to convince us that the problem is us. He attacks our identity.
The Matrix was a strange film which demonstrated clearly two Biblical truths: first, there is something more going on that we can see and understand, and second, if we'll enter into it, we'll discover that there's much more to us than we know. When geeky Mr. Anderson enters the matrix and sees what's really going on, he can't begin to believe it, but as he does, he then can't understand what he can do about it. Over time, he begins to understand that perhaps he's not who he thinks he is. And in the seminal scene where he turns and fights the agent, who represents our demon foe, in the subway tunnel, the comment is made, "He's beginning to believe..." Believe what? Believe that he is not Mr. Anderson, but Neo, one who is given the privilege and responsibility of making a difference and rescuing the lost and hopeless.
It's an amazing story, and not far from one found in Genesis, about a guy that I used to really dislike. I've recently come to realize that his story is my story, and your story, and it's all about this fight for our identity. Jacob. Rather than going into a lot of detail here, I'll explain the backstory. Jacob and Esau are twin brothers, Esau the oldest by an ankle...! Jacob hangs out with mom at home in the tent learning how to cook and clean. Esau is a manly man! who lives outdoors, hunting, and bringing wild game home to his dad who loves it and him. So within the family, for no apparent reasons that we're given, is this great divide. Jacob and mom vs. Esau and dad. While Jacob is tagged with the name deceiver, his mom is the queen of deception, and all he knows he's learned at her feet. One day, she puts him up to the theft of a lifetime: Dad's blessing, which is to go to Esau, the eldest. And in a con that we can barely imagine could work, it plays out, and Jacob indeeds steal's Esau's blessing. When Esau returns and discovers it, he's outraged, and the only thing that calms him is the thought of killing his brother! (Gen 27:41) And he's a hunter. He knows how! Mom sends Jacob away, to save his life, and we find Jacob now in the wilderness, alone. He can't return home, he has no allies, his future is dreadfully uncertain...in short, he's now in that spot that many of us have been in: utter hopelessness and despair. How did we get here? How do we get out? How can I be rescued? Is this it? Is this all there is?
Thankfully, there is One who hears the questions and sees our despair. On to Part 2.
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